Not long ago, I found myself back in Ohio, visiting old haunts, remembering other times.  One place it was impossible to avoid was The Reading Railroad, the local children’s bookstore, a nearly sacred space.  The children who first loved this place are now in their 30’s, parents themselves in many cases.  Most of them are simply addicted to books, having been lucky enough to be surrounded, in their childhoods, by the color, the texture and the mystery of all those wonderful stories.  I have spent many hours and a small fortune in that tiny store, reaping an absolute treasure trove of beloved books.  

Just from curiosity, I asked the owner what percent of books she sold might be purchased by grandparents.  She didn’t even have the think about it.  She said that she was absolutely certain that most of her books were sold to grandmothers.  

Well now doesn’t that make a lot of sense?  In a previous column, I reported that “experts” believe that children prefer grandparents who share time and activities with them rather than grandparents who just buy them things.  I’m pretty sure that a number of those books that grannies buy are intended for some quietly shared moments.  They may be familiar old tales that were read to other children in other times or they may be the latest stories.  Either way, it conjures images of peaceful snuggles with cherished children and their adoring grandparents.  

If this isn’t enough to make you dash out to your local bookstore or hop online to scarf up some fine kiddy lit, think about this.  It is just short of miraculous than humans can read in the first place.  It takes at least three different areas in the brain to decode the arbitrary squiggles on a page to form a word.  Although we have 26 individual letters in the western alphabet, there are almost twice as many sounds that can be made from different combinations of squiggles.  To make matters worse, there are dozens of words that don’t follow
established rules and have to be learned by sight.  (Why don’t we spell “sure” as “shur?”) The word must stay in working memory to form a sentence.  The sentences must stay active in order to finish and understand the paragraph.  If the order of words is changed, if the sequence of letters is in disarray, the whole process is senseless.  

And yet, when this miracle works, it opens up the world to a child.  He/she can go anywhere, do anything.  He suddenly has a richer life and a future, unlike the poor illiterate souls who suffer humiliation and constraints simply because they lack this ability.

It is now recommended that reading to a child should begin, ideally, in utero.  The beginning of the second trimester signals the beginning of hearing.  Familiar sounds seem to trigger the wiring of the brain to comprehend language.  While it may be difficult and, perhaps bad manners, to read to your unborn
grandchild, you can certainly provide the beginnings of library.  It may be possible for you to do some homework on the dozens of websites available that would help you to choose some really welcome and appreciated books.  Start with the baby guru couple, William and Martha Sears.  They are now recommending different books for at least six different stages from 0 to 24 months.  

After that adorable child is born, keep in mind that it is suggested that parents read to the child at least 20 minutes a day.  Imagine, in our current economy, mom and dad, coming home after a grueling day, starving, having to tend to the usual domestic duties, only to be laden with guilt that they haven’t done their 20minutes with the kid.  Yikes!  This is where a loving grandparent can parent the parent.  This is where we can help ease the burden, at least as often as we can.

(For a really amusing take on this issue check out Bedtime Story Showdown on the NPR website – www.npr.org. The author, Emily Wylie and her husband find a way to cope with bedtime story fatigue in the time honored way of couples………..COMPETITION.)

In closing, a few tips for encouraging reading:  Remember to let the child have choices in the reading time.  You don’t have to read every word, nor do you have to “finish” the book.  Learning how to turn pages or enjoy the pictures is fine.  Rhymes are great but you can also go off text and make up your own rhymes.  If reading to an infant, try to let the kid see your face and the book.  

Take a tip from Ms. Whylie and her spouse and put plenty of expression in your reading.  Kids are not big acting critics and it will bring the story alive for them.  

Either of the reading partners can interrupt the story to talk about something that comes up during the experience.  This encourages dialogue between the grandparent and grandchild and cannot help but draw you closer.  

Take advantage of libraries, bookstores, and the many activities that they sponsor to encourage imaginative exploration of books.  Remember that shared experiences are more valuable to your grandchild than all the expensive presents in the world.

If you live far away from that beloved grandchild, it is recommended that you try recording stories.  It will keep the child familiar with your voice.  It seems logical that you send the book as well so that the parents can follow the story with the child if the child is too young to read on his/her own.

The goal, as always, is to grab a little pleasure for ourselves while helping that wonderful grandchild to learn a skill which will serve for a lifetime.  We are helping them to learn to read and learning to read encourages intelligence, independent thinking, and exploration.  

Remember the old saying, "Give a man a fish he will eat for one day. Teach a man to fish he will be satisfied for his whole life."


Please share your experiences below.  I love hearing about how other grandparents do it!

                                                                                                                                       Laurel         

« Home